Both Sides Now

If Abe Lincoln came back to life he'd lose.

The American people I have made great again

are fed up of this down home Honky Tonk crew

Trash from shithole counties

disregarding our flag, the national anthem

there's blame on both sides now and my wife says

I really don't care, do you?

So I'll build a wall, mark my words

and I'll make it strong

it will be very very long,

let's see what we can do.

I have often been a prophet,

the Mexican's laughter was uproarious, but they

will be laughing the other side of their face.

They're animals anyway and my wife says

I really don't care, do you?

Now we're rounding them up in a very nice way.

I know it doesn't sound nice,

The cages are for their own protection,

there's space blankets and beds for a thousand or so.

Not everything is nice in this world it's true.

and my wife says

I really don't care, do you?

I'm a lovin' guy.

I have rows and rows of angel hair

and ice cream castles in the air

but clouds get in my way

they block the sun

and I know just who to blame for that. He's slanty eyed short and fat

and never stops to think I have a much bigger button

I wouldn't hesitate to use and my wife says

I really don't care, do you?

I could win a poll with my IQ

If I won a poll it would be the best poll for being the best.

I would give myself an A plus and shout right out loud.

we got better brains

we got more money

we got better boats

we got more guns

we got better soldiers trained to kill 'em all dead

we got more pussy

we got bigger and better promises ahead.

I beat them too, my impeachment, didn't even rattle my shoe

and my wife, stands out in the crowd and says

I really don't care, do you?

So don't bother me with accusations and nasty questions.

I'm gonna solve the problems of this Godless world

and I'll deal with the United Kingdom too.

I'll fuck the Brits right up the ass.

I got a smoking gun and a good lawyer

and my wife cries over dinner and says

I really don't care, do you?

Ray Evans is a poet whose work has appeared in many anthologies.

He has two published collections of poetry, Drinking Bright Liquor and The Last Red Telephone Box and a third due out in the spring. Ray was the last Poet Laureate of the iconic Scotia Bar. He is also a very fine photographer whose work is on many pages of the Dove Tales website.